


10 Things I Never Said While I Loved You

by alixrose



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, Poetry, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 18:34:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4110931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alixrose/pseuds/alixrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>basically a breakup poem written two days after my girlfriend broke up with me</p>
            </blockquote>





	10 Things I Never Said While I Loved You

i. You telling me that being suicidal is stupid only made me more depressed. Do you honestly not understand how depression works? I mean, it's a damn mental disorder. I thought you would understand, but I guess you are ignorant enough to believe depression is a choice. Depression is not a choice. Depression is crying yourself to sleep almost every night or staring blankly at the ceiling at five am because you can't feel anything. Depression is thinking everything is your fault and blaming yourself for the heartbreakingly painful misery that haunts you whenever you are left alone with your thoughts and it is not a choice.

ii. I never understood why you only said you loved me over text. Were you afraid of loving me while you could see me? To you, was I just a ghost that existed only in your phone and in your fingertips?

iii. Loving you was like loving a tornado. You were a double bladed dagger and didn't even know it. You sliced through my walls with one smile and never turned back to look at my wreckage.

iv. I use weather metaphors in all of my poems because I have never been able to find a better way to describe the girls I've loved. I men clearly I'm attracted to girls who make me feel as damaged as a city in the wake of a natural disaster.

v. Your goddamn laugh was the most beautiful song I'd ever heard and now I can't get it out of my head.

vi. I used to think that you were the most radiant person I had ever met. Now, I can barely look at you or reread our old messages without gagging. 

vii. Our love was poisonous to both of us, I think.

viii. I would have fought for us, I promise, but you decided I wasn't worth the fight, and I'm sorry for loving you as much as I did.

ix. You don't deserve those poems I wrote for you. Every word dripping with saccharine sweet love was true. I meant every word I said. You never did.

x. I've never been much good at telling people how I feel. I've always been afraid of hurting people. I am done being scared. I will tell them how I feel. I'm done hiding.


End file.
